Adam's blogbox: I have a dream

I have a dream that a big Iraqi sneaks into the White House and into Bush’s bed while Laura is in the kitchen and sticks his massive pogo up the President’s ass, and as the President screams with horror, the Iraqi says:

“This is what you’re doing to my country. You invade us and kill tens of thousands of innocent Iraqis so you can give control of our oil to your Texas oil buddies, and so you can set up permanent military bases to control the Middle East, and so you can replace that bastard Saddam Hussein with your own bastard Ahmad Chalabi, which might have happened if our Al-Sistani hadn't forced you to let us have elections, and all the time you lie to your people about your motives, and lead your young soldiers into sin by allowing them to torture people, and drag your country’s name through the mud, and then you say you’re a Christian? Well, I want you to remember this moment forever. I am a messenger from Allah, because God said he didn't want to bother with your sorry ass. Tomorrow you will wake up with your ass so sore you won’t be able to shit for three weeks without immense pain, and this will afford you the time to think about your sins, and give you some insight into how the people feel who've suffered from your extraordinary rendition policy, and maybe you'll be persuaded to change your ways.”

And the big Iraqi butt-fucks the President for a solid four hours with his huge Iraqi dick, because Laura has suddenly decided to cook and freeze spare ribs with tangy sauce for the next 30 days, and the President bleeds because his inner ass walls are getting torn and shredded like grated cheese by the Iraqi’s fierce, rough thrusts, and it hurts so much the President doesn’t even have psychic room to feel terrible humiliation until the next day, but after staying inside his bedroom for a week, he finally calls a doctor, and the doctor lances and sterilizes his pus-oozing ass and bandages it, and swears never to breathe a word about it, and the next week, after some healing, the President goes on TV and announces the latest bill he is sending to Congress, which does the following:

a) halves taxes for Americans making less than $50,000 a year and quadruples taxes on the richest 5% Americans, and has a sliding scale so that the richest 1% of Americans pay 80% in taxes
b) doubles teacher salaries
c) establishes a single-payer healthcare system for everyone, relieving US companies of the burden of healthcare -- and doubles social security benefits, so US companies don’t have to worry about pensions or retirement benefits for their employees
d) decrees that all companies doing business in US have to pay US taxes -- no more off-shores
e) injects huge sums into inner cities to give black and Hispanic children an education comparable to white suburban kids
f) makes all college education free
g) decrees that all political campaigns are to be financed out of taxes only -- each campaigner gets exactly the same amount of money and no more
h) decrees that half of all campaigners for political office have to be women
i) decriminalizes drugs and prostitution, and releases everyone in jail for drug offenses
j) withdraws the US from all its military bases in 140 countries
k) decrees that churches will have to pay taxes from now on
l) triples the taxes of fast-food companies, tobacco companies and arms manufacturers until such time as they serve healthy food, stop making cigarettes, and make butter and toys instead of guns and bombs
m) establishes strict gun control laws
n) abolishes the death penalty
o) abolishes factory farms
p) promises that the US will never go to war again unless it is actually attacked in the homeland
q) establishes mandatory 20-year sentences for all white-collar crimes.

That’s my dream.

Hey, I know it can’t happen tomorrow, but its something to work towards, isn’t it?
After all, if once upon a time, after centuries, slavery could be abolished, and South Africa could change itself completely, we, the people in America, and I, little Adam Ash -- all of us humans on this planet, including you -- we can dream, can’t we?

We have to have a dream.