JESUS NATION SEX REBEL, mini-chapter 50

50. THE YOUNG MAN’S OBJECTIONS

Eve wanted to break them up. For her two homosexual patients it was fun to meet her like this, as a couple, because it validated their relationship. But there was no way she could deal with either one’s deviance without one-on-one therapy -- without the images and the clickers and the shocks of aversion.

“Love is the only safe space in our society,” said the young man. “Love and sex. Everywhere else there is fear. Everybody is scared. They are scared of another terrorist attack. They are scared that someone will inform on them about the stupidest little thing and that they will go to jail. They are scared that a Patriot Unit will wake them up in the middle of the night and take them away. Women are scared they will get classified as Scarlets or V-dolls. Men are scared they will get fired from their jobs. Parents are scared that their children will say nasty things about them and get them in trouble with their Patriot Board. Neighbors are scared of neighbors. Siblings are scared of siblings. Co-workers are scared of each other. Bosses are scared of their bosses. Fear everywhere. This is the world we have to live with. A Satan vile society of fear. That’s why we need love. That’s why we are lucky to have found each other, and to have found love. Changing this love will bring us back to fear all the time. Fear is forever. But we can make our love forever too, and stop living in fear.”

“Our love is dangerous. It will get us locked up.”

“We could run away.”

“Where to? A Patriot Unit will find us.”

“The world is a big place. We can run away to the country. We can live in a forest.”

“You are being ridiculous. What do you know about living in a forest?”

“We can set traps for small animals. We can plant stuff. I have a book on growing vegetables.”

K smiled. “Look, this is lovable of you, Jonathan, but hardly realistic.”

“You call this realistic?” The young man gestured around him.

“This is real,” said K, “this is the world we live in. And I do have a family. A wife. Two kids. I can’t leave them. My wife will become a Scarlet, and my children will be outcasts.”

“You live in fear. What kind of a life is that? We make love possible for each other. Isn’t that a better way to live?”

“I think the key word you might want to focus on is responsibility,” interjected Eve. “K has a responsibility towards his family, doesn’t he? You have a responsibility to help K stay out of jail, don’t you? And you have a responsibility to keep yourself out of jail. My program of therapy, which you call unrealistic, is something real that can help you reintegrate yourself and help you live up to your responsibility to the world.”

“I refuse to attach myself to any of your cords. They are chains. This society is a society of chains, to keep us locked away from expressing our true humanity through love.”

Heavens, thought Eve, I did not get my graduate degree in Approved Human Behavior to have to listen to this 20th century claptrap.

“How can you speak with any authority regarding this if you haven’t at least experienced it once?”

“Chains are chains.”

“Are you afraid to try it once?” Eve asked young Jonathan. “Think of how you could rage against this if you had an actual experience of it. Think how you could focus your argument if it was based on first-hand empirical evidence.”

“I don’t want to experience your evidence.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know what K has gone through?” Eve asked. She had to find a way around his objections. If she could just get him to try it once. Sometimes, before the shocks, her patients found the experience of staring at their favorite sex fantasies and sharing it with a stranger quite fun. Liberating. That was the idea, to make them feel comfortable before absorbing the aversion. “Wouldn’t you like to be able to empathize with him?”

The young man was silent.

“Well, wouldn’t you?”