Adam Ash

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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Adam's blogbox: the bizarre fantasy life of a war criminal

Here is the gospel truth. You can believe me, because I am your president, and I would never lie to the American people.

I stand for freedom. That’s why I invaded Iraq. I wanted to liberate them from Saddam Hussein.

Sure, that’s not what I said in the beginning. I said I wanted regime change. I said Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. I hinted that he was behind 9/11.

I believed all this, I swear. This is the gospel truth. I did not cynically fix the facts around the policy.

As I said before, all the intelligence operations in the world thought Saddam had WMD, even though they didn’t think this. It’s true because I say so, and because Karl Rove told me to say so.

I did not ignore German intelligence when they told us that the informant Curveball, who claimed Saddam had biological weapons, was a total flake. I did not ignore British intelligence when they said it was BS that Saddam wanted to buy tubes from Niger. I did not cherry-pick CIA evidence, or hound them to back my case with flimsy evidence. Powell made a great case to the UN. The fact that the German Foreign Minister said it did not convince him, did not matter. Our media said it was a good case, and I believe them when they agree with me.

I sent enough troops to Iraq. Rumsfeld told me so. He is very competent. I believe him. We supplied our troops with enough body armor and armor for their Humvees.

The fact that our soldiers did nothing to stop the looting in Bagdhad did not contribute to any chaos in Iraq. The fact that the only place they protected was the Ministry of Oil does not mean anything. Stuff like that happens.

The Iraqis were ecstatic about our invasion. Look how they toppled the statue of Saddam. That was a spontaneous outbreak of Iraqi enthusiasm, not a rigged photo-op by the Pentagon.

The fact that our troops stormed into Iraqi houses, breaking down doors, handling Iraqi wives roughly in front of their husbands, and scaring kids, had nothing to do with Iraqis disliking us.

I did not change my tune when no weapons of mass destruction were found. I did not all of a sudden say that we were bringing democracy to Iraq. I thought so all along, even if I didn’t say so until then. My coming up with this had nothing to do with Al-Sistani calling out his followers to march in demand for national elections. I thought so before he forced my hand.

I sent Bremer to Iraq to make that country free, not to try and organize rigged elections. His firing of the entire Iraq bureaucracy was a good move, as was his firing of the Iraq Army. This did not contribute to the chaos in Iraq at all. The laws Bremer made to make it easy for US corporations to take over the Iraqi economy were good, even if our corporations don’t seem in a hurry to do so. The idea was sound.

The fact that Halliburton has made zillions out of the war with no-bid contracts on which they overcharged has nothing to do with the fact that Dick Cheney used to run that corporation.

I believe in our Constitution. That’s why I’ve suspended habeas corpus, which people call a basic human right of a democracy, but which I believe should not be extended to enemy combatants.

Of course I am the only one who should decide who is an enemy combatant. Why? Because I’m the president. This does not make me a monarch or a dictator. It is my right as your Commander-in-Chief to suspend the Constitution.

I know that all of the prisoners in Guantanamo are guilty. The reason they have not been brought to trial is not because there is nothing to charge them with, but because after three years of questioning them every day, they are still supplying us with valuable information. We are keeping them there to keep America safe, not to save me from embarrassment because most of them aren’t guilty of anything.

I do not believe in torture, The fact that I’ve signed a law that lets me decide what is torture -- and not the Geneva Conventions signed by the US -- proves this. The fact that this law exonerates our people who may have indulged in torture before, proves that we never tortured anyone.

And the fact that we sent General Miller to Iraq to apply the interrogation methods of Guantanamo over there, had nothing to do with the Abu Ghraib scandal.

The Iraqis are not fighting a civil war. It is merely sectarian violence. We are training the Iraq Army to stand up so we can stand down. We are making real progress in Iraq. The fact that more civilians and more US troops are being killed in Iraq than ever before, proves that I am right.

I am fighting terrorists, not recruiting them. There are fewer terrorists in the world today because of me.

I believe the Iraq War is a war on terror. Never mind that 61% of Iraqis say they approve of attacks on American soldiers. That simply means 61% of the Iraqis are terrorists. The other 39% hunger for freedom, which I am going to give them, even if I have to kill all of them.

We have to fight the terrorists over there in Iraq so we don’t have to fight them here. Sometimes I don’t understand what the hell that means either, but it sounds good, so I say it.

I believe we are in a global war on terror. Never mind that there may be no more than 10,000 Al Qaeda terrorists in the world. We still need to fight them with the biggest Army and the biggest military budget in the world. Never mind that this will cost out at more than a 100 million dollars per terrorist. Never mind that your chances of drowning in your own bath tub are greater than being killed by a terrorist. This is real. This is huge. This is global. This wins elections. This is World War Three. This is not a matter for police investigation. The London bombings, for example, should not have been a police matter. If I were in charge there, I would’ve sent in the Army to London’s Muslim neighborhoods to fight the terrorists there, like we did in Fallujah, which won hearts and minds all over Iraq.

I am doing God’s work. He called me to this job. I am carrying out His will. The Rapture tells me to. We are in a massive struggle of good vs. evil. I am not evil. I am good. I speak to God.

I am not a man living in some bizarre fantasy that has nothing to do with real life. I am not an ideologue who is blind to what is actually happening out there. I am not a religious nut who blindly follows bizarre beliefs about the end of days. I am not a paranoid idiot with an IQ lower than freezing point. I am your president, doing everything he can to make you feel safe, even if I try and scare you every time I open my mouth. The war on terror is not a figment of my imagination. It is very real to me, as real as Laura.

HAD ENOUGH?

That, folks, is the fantasy life of our president, the best president in the history of the US -- better than Roosevelt, better than Lincoln. Unlike them, he is in a real war. He is in touch with reality at all times.

Such is the bizarre life happening inside the pea that is the brain of George Bush. More bizarre, that is the fantasy shared by half of America, although their numbers are dwindling, as many of them regain their connection with reality.

That is the fantasy. And here are the facts:

Dick Cheney and George Bush planned the Iraq War before 9/11. Therefore, their reasons had nothing to do with 9/11 or the “war on terror.” They had everything to do with the neocon project to establish Pentagon military bases all over the world, and with Bush/Cheney’s oil buddies, who were pissed because Saddam was signing oil contracts with Russian and Chinese companies. After invading Iraq, Bush/Cheney wanted to install Ahmed Chalabi as head of an authoritarian puppet regime run by the US. It had nothing to do with “liberating” Iraq.

The unprovoked Iraq War has killed between 100,000 and 700,000 Iraqis, most of them women and children. Dead. Crushed. Limbs blown off their bodies. Faces smashed. Bombed to smithereens. Wiped from the face of the earth. Families like yours.

George Bush is a war criminal. He should be standing in the dock at The Hague. Bitch-squeal all you like, act fake O’Reilly-outraged, complain like an old lady who needs her illusions, live with Bush in his fantasy world if you want … but these are the facts. No amount of fantasy can wish them away.

Shame on Bush, shame on us, shame on America.

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