Your sextrology horoscope for the week

Aries: The thought of Worldcom defendant Bernie Ebbers makes you wet.
Taurus: You have a sex fantasy about Goofy. You love playing with his large, floppy organ.
Gemini: Your lover’s sperm suddenly tastes OK.
Cancer: After years of trying, you finally put your penis in your mouth, but you’re disappointed.
Leo: Did you really doggie-style Julia Roberts at an Oscar after-party? Or was it but a dream?
Virgo: Your lover tugs at your ass hairs. It drives you nuts.
Libra: The pimple on your dick turns out to be a pimple.
Scorpio: Finally, a threesome, but the third party will be your pet.
Sagittarius: Your boyfriend persuades you to shave your vagina. It itches like hell, even on the inside.
Capricorn: You keep thinking about your wife while masturbating, which delays your orgasm indefinitely.
Aquarius: A day after you’ve made love, you feel sperm running down your leg in the elevator to your office.
Pisces: You find a frog on your pillow, and you wonder if you should kiss it. Go ahead, you never know.