I wake up with a massive piss boner

And although it's uncomfortable, and makes urinating rather awkward, I take great joy in it every day of my life, even though it goes away after I've peed. After all, it signifies the morning glory of my continuing potent manhood.

But will it one day fade away? I ask because an 80-year-old Groucho Marx once said, on accepting yet another award: "I'd give it up for just one good erection."

When do men lose their potency? It seems to me you need two important sexual conversations with your parents. The first one, when you become a teenager. And the second one, when they're old, and they can clue you in on sex and being old.

Do men still get hard, Dad? Do women still get wet, Mom?

Is it easier for women, because there's always KY jelly for when they dry up? Does KY in fact make it all OK for the old gals?

What about men? Dad, do you still get a piss hard-on and a sex hard-on? Can you get a woody off a Playboy spread or do you need a live woman's touch? Hey, Dad, are you screwing all the old ladies in your rest home? How many of you old geezers can still do it? At what age does one lose it?

I'm a little over halfway through my life, and I've noticed one slight loss of potency. I don't always come automatically when I jerk off. Come to think of it, I don't always come when I fuck, either. Is this the harbinger of a bigger future loss?

These are the full facts of life that I don't know yet. Are there any of you out there who've had this second important discussion about sex with your parents?