Father of beheaded son reflects on Fathers Day

Father’s Day Reflections on a Son Lost -- by Michael Berg

Of all of the holidays a grieving father can be confronted with after the death of his child, Fathers Day is for me the most difficult.

My son Nick died in Iraq on May 7, 2004. He is buried next to my father, who had died just a year and a half before. That is not the way it’s supposed to be.

I’m supposed to go somewhere between my father and my son in the graveyard. Nearby are my proud immigrant grandparents, who died first. That is the way it is supposed to be.

There is a lot else going on that is not the way it is supposed to be. Our leaders are not supposed to lie to us. Yet because George Bush and company told us to beware of weapons of mass destruction and so-called Iraqi involvement in 9/11, my son and the loved ones of 150,000 other grieving souls on both sides lost their lives.

Though I doubted our president’s words, I did too little too late.

My son Nick was an independent contractor, not associated with Haliburton, Bechtel, Lockheed-Martin, or the U.S. military. Nick was arrested by the U.S. military without reason and then illegally detained for thirteen days. While he was in custody, the revelations of the Abu Ghraib prison scandal became public. These revelations ignited the resistance in Iraq and made it impossible for Nick to get home alive.

Once released, Nick was swiftly murdered -- on videotape, by a hooded man now believed to have been Abu Musab Zarqawi -- in retaliation for the atrocities committed at the Abu Ghraib prison: murders, rapes, and torture of Iraqi citizens. The president’s contribution was to order then-White House Counsel Alberto Gonzalez to rewrite definitions of torture essentially ordering these sins, and he did so with impunity. Though Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld says he took responsibility for the resulting atrocities, no consequences were felt by him, but they were by my son and everyone who loved him. This is not the way it’s supposed to be.

When Nick did arrive home, it was to the military mortuary at Dover Air Force Base, a base from which I and all other loved ones of the invisible deceased are barred. This is not the way it’s supposed to be either.

We learn more and more of the truth of what is happening in Iraq every day. We learn what is happening to America and our allies as a result of the voters of these United States electing the wrong men and women: unjustifiable wars, the undermining of vital social programs, willful neglect of the maintenance of the infrastructure of our nation, and dangerous "ignorance" of global warming that could result in unprecedented disaster. This is the legacy of these leaders. Neither of the two largest political parties in this country are doing anything to make things the way they are supposed be.

This spring, I joined many others, both conservatives and liberals, in taking the first steps to put things right. I had the honor of being the first person to sign the Voters Pledge for Peace, which states:

I will not vote for or support any candidate for Congress or President who does not make a speedy end to the war in Iraq, and preventing any future war of aggression, a public position in his or her campaign.

Zarqawi was a human being too, loved by his father, who is now feeling grief for his son just as I am feeling grief for my son. I want to make sure that no more fathers suffer the loss of their son or daughter in Iraq or a future illegal war of aggression. My contribution this Father’s Day is to urge all those who oppose the military occupation of Iraq and do not want to see future wars of choice to sign the Voters Pledge at www.VotersForPeace.US. Nearly fifty thousand people have already signed and many of the major organizations in the antiwar movement have endorsed it.

Together we can change the path of the United States so that all fathers and mothers can face the future with pride that we did our part to move our great country back toward the way it’s supposed to be.

Michael Berg is the father of Nick Berg, murdered in Iraq on May 7, 2004, by a hooded figure believed to have been Abu Musab Zarqawi, who was killed this week by U.S. forces.