I never knew Brad and Jen split over politics
'When news of the high-profile split hit the airwaves, the Hollywood gossip machine immediately blamed famously liberal actress Angelina Jolie for the split. But sources close to the couple say it was political differences that drove Mr. Pitt and Ms. Aniston apart--differences the famously liberal Ms. Jolie only aggravated.'
Suck me with your liberal lips, Angelina. Sure, Brad, I'll blow your cock way over to the left.
'Tension between the stars first appeared during the 2004 presidential election, say sources, when Mr. Pitt chose to throw his "Troy"-buffed weight behind Kerry, a move that Ms. Aniston thought was disrespectful to President Bush.'
Brad, I cannot lick the nuts of a man who doesn't respect our President.
"That was what started it all," says a source close to the actress. "She started to feel like she didn't know the man she was living with. That they couldn't even have a conversation without real differences coming out."
Brad, I don't think it's right to have a blue-state cock in a red-state pussy.
'The couple reportedly entered into counseling in early February, seeking the high-profile services of Elaine O'Connell, the Washington-based therapist who has assisted such famously independent couples as James Carville and Mary Matalin, and Lynn Cheney and her daughter Mary.'
Brad is a decadent liberal, Elaine, he jerks off to pictures of Hillary in her stupid pantsuits. Jen is a rigid conservative, Elaine, she has sex fantasies about that fat pig Dick Cheney.
'But their effort to heal the festering political divisions failed, say friends, when the couple became embroiled in yet another dispute, this one over President Bush's plan to introduce private Social Security accounts. Ms. Aniston, who earns more than $10 million per film, is said to be a strong supporter of Mr. Bush's privatization initiative, while Mr. Pitt has cast his allegiance with such Democratic stalwarts as Senator Harry Reid and the AARP.
Brad, you can't put your cock in my mouth until you agree Social Security should be privatized.
'Says a source close to the actress: "She just really feels that people should have the freedom to invest their own money, that we don't need a nanny government making those choices for us. That was really the straw that broke the camel's back."
Jen, I don't want to smell your right-wing pussy skank around the house.
'Pitt, 41, and Aniston, 35, began dating in the spring of 1998 and quickly emerged as one of the most watched celebrity couples in Hollywood. They tied the knot in 2000, joined by 200 of their friends as they said "I do" in an extravagant ceremony in Malibu. But the couple's wedded bliss hit a serious speed bump when hijackers flew commercial airliners into the World Trade Center on September 11. Mr. Pitt was reportedly opposed to military action in Afghanistan, while Ms. Pitt believed that the situation demanded a strong military response, not the police action that her new husband seemed to advocate.'
Get your unpatriotic left-wing dick out of here, Brad, and go fuck a liberal. Jen, you go fuck Tom Selleck, OK?