Terri Schiavo and Pope to star in remake of Night of the Living Dead

Hollywood producer David Dreck has signed Terri Schiavo and the Pope as stars for a new remake of George Romero's horror classic, Night of the Living Dead. "This will be the greatest horror movie in the history of horror," he said. "All of our living dead will in fact be people in a persistent vegetative state for greater accuracy and a cinema verite feel. It is a revenge fantasy, where the vegetables rise up to avenge themselves on all those who pulled their feeding tubes. We will need one change on the original though. In George Romero's classic, the living dead bite, eat and chew the living in acts of horrific cannibalism. In our version, the living will be sucked into the digestive tracts of the living dead through feeding tubes."