Adam Ash

Your daily entertainment scout. Whatever is happening out there, you'll find the best writing about it in here.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

GOP torn between Evangelical Talibans and Country Club elite

The Country Club Republicans, whose God is money, are getting fed up with the Evangelical Talibans in their party. First they got embarrassed when Frist and DeLay sucked up to the Evangelicals over Terri Schiavo, and made the Republican Party look like a bunch of intrusive meddlers into the nation's private family affairs.

The Country Club Republicans don't mind using the Evangelical Talibans as their "useful idiots" when it comes to election time, like the Dems don't mind using their own useful idiots, the African-American voting bloc, for election purposes either. But now that the Country Club Republicans find the dicks of the Evangelical Talibans too deep up the asshole of their party, they're starting to gag.

No wonder some reason-based Republicans went behind the backs of faith-based Frist and DeLay to strike a deal with the Dems to nuke the nuclear option that was going to nuke the filibuster. And one day after Frist lost control of his caucus, 50 Republican House members defied Bush's promised veto over stem cell research, his latest sop to the Evangelical Talibans. (After all, stem cell research can help millions of suffering Americans. For example, diabetes afflicts 18m Americans, because of the shit food they eat at McDonalds. Many are children. Diabetes cost us $132 billion in 2002, one of of every 10 bucks spent on healthcare. 213,000 people will die of it this year. Stem cell research might supply a cure. Try telling the nation Jesus doesn't want to cure diabetes. When religion tries to stop science, science always wins.)

The Country Club Republicans are gagging on another sop to the Evangelical Talibans, the undiplomatic bully John Bolton. His ride to the UN is getting bumpy. Meanwhile, Bush is still pushing for social security "reform" (translation: he wants to destroy it), which nobody is dumb enough to buy.

What are the Country Club Republicans to do? They had a winner in Bush, because he combines a silver spoon in his mouth with an Evangelical Taliban dick up his ass. But his faith-based robber-baron ideological platform has left the Republicans with nothing reason-based to run on, come the next election. Besides, the war issue is turning against them. 57% of Americans think the Iraq War wasn't worth it, and their numbers will increase.

The only good guy the Republicans have left to run for president is John McCain, but since he's a donkey in elephant costume, he'll get creamed by any real donkey. The Democrats, on the other hand, have a full slate of appealing candidates, from Hillary and Edwards on down.

The Country Club Republicans correctly fear they might lose elections for the next 20 years, unless they manage to squeeze the Evangelical Talibans out of their posteriors. But those Talibans are way past the sphincter of the Republican Party, and firmly lodged in their prostates. Watch the Republican Party begin to roam the political wilderness soon. The Evangelical Talibans will go down in history as having screwed the Republican Party into oblivion. Don't think oblivion can't happen to the Republicans. Look what happened to the Tories in the U.K. They once ruled under Margaret Thatcher, and now they're a desperate, powerless minority with no chance of ever ruling again. Just like the Republican Party will be.


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