Finest feminist advice from a guy I've ever read

There's this gay dude Res Publica who wrote this on I Blame the Patriarchy (the funniest feminist blog extant -- and by gum, she writes better than any man). He was giving advice to a man still on the feminist learning curve, and he wraps it up in the most excellent nutshell -- so listen up if you're a guy, or pass it on to guys if you're a lass:

Trust what women say about their experiences. Let them interpret the meaning of those experiences without unwanted male "help". Understand that patriarchy is one big monster with a lot of little manifestations, so you can't let "little things" pass. Sexist and degrading jokes are on a continuum of behavior with rape and wife-beating. Never let that shit pass without comment. Use the "F word" - say that you are a feminist. Don't take women's frustrations about men personally; understand that there's 10,000 years of oppression behind their anger, and they are fully justified in it.

The hardest thing for me has been to own up to the degree to which patriarchy has both shaped my thinking and granted me male privilege which I may refute, but from which I have still benefited. That's not fun to think about, but it's important work, similar to the realization that whether I like it or not, as a white person, I benefit from our racist culture. It helps one move from a position of noncommittally affirming one's personal goodness to a more active stance of owning one's participation in the system and declaring one's intention to undo the very system by which one has benefited.

That's just my two cents, anyway. I don't think it's about staying away from women. I think it's about realizing that patriarchy is the cultural field in which we all live. You can support it, or you can fight it, but there's no neutral stance.

WELL SAID, eh? On the same thread, here's Bitch Phd weighing in about the violence that women live in that men don't know about:

Women are constantly bombarded with "advice" about how to "protect ourselves" from rape. Every single woman I know is a little bit afraid to walk home alone in the dark (even though many of us do it anyway). Every single woman is a little bit nervous about travelling alone. Every single woman has had moments of being afraid about being alone in her house or apartment at night. Every single woman has had the experience of being catcalled or whistled at on the street. Every single woman, therefore, has been taught to live with fear of violence. Every single one of us.

Many guys don't get that, because they don't have to think about it. Many guys don't realize that if they are walking home at night, and a woman is walking home on the same street, the woman is almost certainly VERY aware of the guy's presence, and is paying very acute attention to his every step to see if he is speeding up, slowing down, or what. Decent guys will deliberately cross to the other side of the street from the woman in order to give her space. I have a good friend who once whirled around on a guy who'd followed her all the way home and yelled "what the fuck are you doing following me?" only to have him say, "I live in this building too." To which her response was, "well, don't you know any better than to follow a woman for several blocks?" He thought she was a bitch. Because he had never had to think about it.

I MUST ADD: without feminist blogs, I wouldn't be half the man I hope I'm becoming. Check these blogs for your education, and of course, total amusement, since they're all hip and cool and fun: 1) Rampaging PMS, 2) Majikthise, 3) I Blame the Patriarchy, 4) Feministing.com, 5) Pandagon, and, of course, 6) Bitch Phd.