Adam Ash

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Wednesday, May 31, 2006



The TV morning host smiled broadly at Adam. She was respectful. After all, his audience numbers were bigger than hers. And he had just snared the interviewer’s coup of all coups: Jeremiah Luther had agreed to an hour-long interview, one-on-one, with Adam. Just him and Adam for a whole hour. The network had been hyping it for weeks. Adam was looking forward to the taping. Every day he thought of new questions to ask.

“So your show is about Creationism.”

“Yes,” said Adam, and smoothly took up the bait. “But Creationism is just the door. Through this door I have the freedom to steer my guests into any topic of discussion. For example, our very first program went off into a very different tangent.”

“The controversy seems to be raging more than when it started,” the morning host said.

“I know. It’s tantamount to an inordinate wave in public opinion. Some nerve has been struck. I think this speaks to the hunger of our society for a renovation of spiritual values.”

“Where do you stand in the controversy?”

“How do you mean?”

“Do you think that Jeremiah Luther came from a virgin birth, and if so, was he conceived by an angel father or by an even higher being, the highest father of all? Could he be what I have heard one preacher say, a reincarnation of Christ Himself?”

“At the end of the day I tend towards the angel hypothesis,” said Adam. He felt it right to be seen to take a center position, between the faction who said Jeremiah was out of his mind, and the faction who claimed him as the new Christ of the Second Coming.

“That position appears to be drowned out by the factions on either side of it,” said the morning host.

“Jeremiah himself has said that he’s not sure. The point being he feels called by heaven, but he doesn’t know if he is being called by an angel or by the highest Father Himself. I’ve spoken to Jeremiah about this, and he is adamant that he himself is not sure about it. It is rather amazing that he has followers now who are more sure of who he is than he is himself. How would they know better than he? It’s tantamount to spiritual arrogance.”

“They are hungry for the Savior to appear amongst us.”

“Absolutely, it is a measure of their hunger. But I think it would be wise for Jeremiah to come to the security of his knowledge himself first, before his followers jump to conclusions that he isn’t willing to make yet. If I may be permitted an attempt at a prescription, they should wait for his lead. The followers should beware of getting ahead of their leader. And if Jeremiah has a lead, our program will be there with the news. In the final analysis, we’re the show that brings the cutting edge of faith issues to your screen. Keep watching my show, Keep the Faith, for all new developments pertaining to the faith of the nation.”

Adam felt proud of himself. His lecturing style adapted very well to TV. He was fitting smoothly into the power structure. He was becoming a king of the media. Already he was above this host in the TV pecking order. She was sucking up to him like Proctor was.

“What do you think of the latest news about Pat Robertson’s missing penis?” she asked. She was referring to the report that the dead evangelist’s penis had been found, and that it was being auctioned off on eBay. Family members of Pat Robertson were still resisting calls for his corpse to be exhumed to ascertain if his penis was still attached to his body.

“I don’t think about sensationalist nonsense like that,” replied Adam, and looked at the morning host with withering scorn.

This woman was a cretin. He had lowered himself when he agreed to be interviewed by her. He was way above her. He was becoming one of those people who didn’t report the news, or interpret it, or discuss it, but created it. They were bugs, Proctor and she. Hateful little creatures. Even Eve had become a stubborn little hardhead. Why didn’t she submit to him? He was a famous man. Who did she think she was?


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