$1m novel kamikazed by Michiko

28-year-old Jonathan Safran Foer got a $1m advance for his new novel, "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close." Does fearless NY Times book reviewer Michiko Kakutani, also known as Michiko Kamikaze, have any respect for this large sum? In a word, no. She may give a hapless author a bouquet in the 2nd last sentence of a seppuku stinger, but the last sentence always draws the kamikazi sword across the author's guts. Here she is, true to form: 'These passages underscore Mr. Foer's ability to evoke, with enormous compassion and psychological acuity, his characters' emotional experiences, and to show how these private moments intersect with the great public events of history. Sadly, these passages are all too few and far between in what is an admirably purposeful but ultimately mannered and irritating novel.' Jonathan, next time, whatever you write, write something that doesn't irritate the Kamikaze Queen. Question: if your advance doesn't earn out, do you have to give the difference back?