You and your male toenails

How often do men look at their toes? I was cutting my nails this morning, and decided I might as well cut my toenails too. Gadzooks! They were like long Howard Hughes talons. I could have stuck them in a branch and hung from a tall tree like a simian. A male friend of mine never sees himself in a mirror. When he does, his wife tells me, he's always totally surprised at what he looks like. Thank God us men don't have to live with our appearances on a day-by-day basis the way women do. Though if Queer Eye for the Straight Guy achieves world domination, we might start plucking our eyebrows and shaving our chest hair. I'll be glad to be growing my toenails in my coffin when that day comes.